Kindness First: How Shelby Dennis Is Changing the Narrative in Horsemanship

Kindness First: How Shelby Dennis Is Changing the Narrative in Horsemanship

Must Love Horses Interviews Shelby Dennis

Shelby Dennis has built a career not just on riding horses, but on listening to them. As the founder of Milestone Equestrian, Shelby specializes in helping horses who have been misunderstood, mistreated, or shut down by traditional training methods. With a strong foundation in equine science and behavior, Shelby educates riders and trainers around the world on ethical, empathetic horsemanship. Through her extensive online presence and educational resources, she works to bridge the gap between science and practice, empowering riders to build relationships with their horses based on trust, understanding, and mutual respect.

"Knowing when to slow down and take a breath, rather than pushing around and getting frustrated, is a very important skill."

1. What about horses captured your heart and made you fall in love with them?

When I was very young, I started playing with my mom’s old Breyer horses. From the time I could speak, I started asking for riding lessons and took any opportunity I could to be around horses, like going to pet neighborhood horses or revelling in the chances I got to have pony rides at birthday parties. Finally, when I was 4, my mom got me riding lessons and I was able to really lean into my obsession with horses. I resonated a lot with their gentle temperaments and their way of being and never felt afraid of them. There was always this “pull” towards horses for me that was magnetic, even before I was actively enrolled in riding lessons. They’re very spiritual animals and something about them has always been very grounding for me. They are very communicative and honest animals and so long as you’re kind to them, they tend to be kind to you and I love that about them.

2. In your experience, what’s the most fulfilling moment or accomplishment you’ve had while working with horses?

I’ve found it really rewarding to work with horses who’ve been shut down by harsh training methods and/or haven’t had their needs met, for example, horses who are stalled 24/7 and haven’t gotten to be in a herd. Watching how these horses change and come out of their shell as they begin to realize they’re being listened to is so rewarding, it’s like watching a whole new horse develop before your eyes.

I find it really special to see a horse go from being aloof, or in some cases, outright aggressive, to being friendly and engaging with people once they realize that people are here to help them and listen to them, not hurt them.

It gives the horse a second chance at a life and doesn’t reduce them to being their behaviour. Far too many horses are labelled as being their behaviour, that their personality is just “cranky” because they display unpleasant behaviour around horses.

Behaviour is a symptom of underlying issues and horses who are perpetually unhappy in their behaviour are struggling in some way and if we listen to them, we can make a really big difference. 

3. For someone just starting their journey with horses, what’s the first piece of advice you would give them to ensure a successful and enjoyable experience?

Move forward with empathy and patience. Don’t get too focused on constant productivity that you compare yourself to others and become discouraged if you aren’t always chasing down a new goal. What horses really need is someone who can hold space for them even when they aren’t being obedient and easy to deal with.

Knowing when to slow down and take a breath, rather than pushing around and getting frustrated is a very important skill. Your ability to regulate your own emotions and remain calm will make you a more effective horse person.

Kindness and softness goes a long way. When in doubt, try to see what may be influencing a negative reaction in your horse rather than simply viewing it as an inconvenience and becoming angry or frustrated with them.

Thank you, Shelby!  

Welcome back to Must Love Horses. Here’s to learning about each other's love for horses. I hope you join the blog's journey ahead. Check out more interviews:

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